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How to cope with your divorce

For most people in Louisiana, going through a dissolution of marriage is difficult and emotionally draining, despite being the right thing for you based on the state of your marriage and circumstances. There are a number of things to think about and approaches that may help you cope with your divorce. One is to try to, as quickly as possible, put the arguments and animosity that preceded it in the past and adopt an outlook of increasingly looking toward the future.

Bad mouthing your soon to be ex-spouse, especially to your children, can be very non-productive and even destructive. While it may initially feel good to vent, children should not be placed in a position where they feel like they are being forced to take sides, or to fear that one parent won't love and support them anymore. After a divorce, a child will possibly need the love and support of both parents even more than before.

Be careful about making assumptions about why your estranged spouse is behaving a certain way or making certain decisions during the divorce process. The reality of the situation is this: The marriage is over. Both of you are going to have to move on with your lives and find new circumstances that can best fit your needs now. It is unsurprising, in a sense, that you may be surprised by positions your spouse takes during negotiations to reach a divorce settlement. After all, a breakdown of communications and misunderstanding of each other's desires and expectations is frequently part of the reason the divorce occurred to begin with.

Remember to be good to yourself during this time. Surround yourself with loving and understanding friends and relatives. Engage in activities you enjoy. Go have a special meal, see a good movie, do something to relax. The divorce will soon be in your past. You have a whole bright new future ahead of you and the possibilities are limitless.

Source: The Huffington Post, "Don't Take Your Divorce Personally" Lisa Arends, Dec. 30, 2013

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