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Keeping our divorce emotions in check is often not easy

All relationships involve dealing with emotions and feelings. This is true in a marriage, and conversely, in a divorce.

Knowing this in advance and watching for it is a helpful way to deal with it. It would be unrealistic to expect that we would not experience a roller-coaster of emotions as we grieve the dissolution of our marriage.

Many relationship experts agree that there are some easy and practical ways to deal with a difficult spouse during a break-up. Practicing how to manage the conflicting emotions that come up can facilitate any divorce proceeding.

One way to do this is to make a list as we envision long-term goals. Focusing on minor details may not be the best way to approach a divorce transaction, which is, after all, a legal matter. Setting our sights on the long-term vision on the horizon allows us to focus on the things that matter the most.

Most of us have buttons that can be easily pushed. If we allow our spouse to do that during a divorce, it would be a good idea to step back from the situation and examine it objectively. The real reasons for our actions might be based on resentment or fear of being alone. If we focus on being rational and calm and not unreasonable or immature, our divorce will go much more smoothly.

Another great idea is to think outside the box on how to deal with a spouse who is being difficult. Some therapists recommend considering how we normally react in certain situations and making a concerted effort to do the exact opposite. Keeping an open mind is critical.

Divorce is seldom easy, regardless of whether you live in Louisiana or in another state, but it can be less stressful when you allow your emotions to bubble to the surface without acting irrationally on them. These behaviors will only produce detrimental results to our families and ourselves and provide obstacles on the road to becoming newly-single.

Source: The Huffington Post, "Divorce Confidential: Managing Your Emotions During A Divorce" Caroline Choi, Mar. 13, 2014

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